Our brilliant story today is from Occupy Wall Street. Those of you who are unaware or just plain ignorant of the world around you, Occupy Wall Street is this event where a bunch of people get together and spoon and rally for a better cause in the world. Sorta like hippies, but for economic and financial purposes. The problem here is it’s apparently so far wide spread that it’s taken ahold of Chicago, Phoenix, NY, and a bunch of other places. I’ll let you read the article for yourself.

 

Occupy Wall Street Spreads

Monday, October 10, 2011 Update by Zack “Geist Editor” Parsons

Occupy Wall Street

Going gangbusters. The ranks of protestors swell almost every day despite increasing resistance from police and a hostile, ultra-rich mayor.

Occupy Chicago

Currently experiencing difficulty as SEIU workers joining the protest are demanding the 505 Sign Makers Union and 235 Sign Hoisters Union be hired to do all the protesting for $36 an hour plus two hours for lunch.

Occupy Colorado Springs

“This is what democracy looks like!” chant ruined by perimeter of armored trucks from Fort Carson surrounding waste-water filled “free speech pit.”

Occupy Las Vegas

Protest disbanded by police after being mistaken by tourists for Mexican kids handing out escort advertising cards. Considering relocation to Hoover Dam since nobody who works for the government will going anywhere near a giant infrastructure project anymore.

Occupy Seattle

Drum circle, weed way too excellent for the protest to stay focused. Light rain prompted a relocation to Top Pot for Diplomat drips and crullers.

Occupy Phoenix

Shut down by Joe Arpaio’s SWAT team when someone posted on their Facebook that they thought it would be funny to bring a legal semi-automatic weapon “like those Tea Party idiots do.” All arrested protestors currently dressed in baby diapers at Sheriff Arpaio’s new Baby Jail where men have to kiss guards (“mommies”) to get their meals (“babas”) and he webcam streams the entire jail for a monthly fee that goes to finance Maricopa County’s newest anti-aircraft missile.

Occupy Miami

Protest held in different place every day depending on location of best food trucks according to twitter.

Occupy Los Angeles

Initial protest outside Mann’s Chinese Theatre repeatedly disrupted by man in soiled Batman costume insisting he works for tips and then threatening to choke women unconscious when nobody wants to take a picture with him. Relocated to street outside the Scientology Celebrity Center. Protest now one third people demanding “FREE MUMIA” and two-thirds disguised Sea Org members protesting psychiatry.

Occupy Detroit

Protestors in downtown Detroit frightened away by aggressive panhandlers, rubble of downtown Detroit.

Occupy Washington, D.C.

Protest permit forced to share location with a political rally. Occupy protestors soon overwhelmed by the thousands thronging the streets and cheering in support of congressman and former Republican presidential candidate Thaddeus McCotter.

Occupy Dallas

Protestors drowned out by cheering football crowd and overshadowed by the giant American flag appearing on the Dallas Cowboys’ 160-foot television screen.

Occupy Topeka

Class warfare declared illegal by Governor Sam Brownback. Protestors rounded up and forced to watch ultrasounds of their theoretical unborn children losing all income mobility due to overtaxation of job creators.

Occupy Montpelier

Vermont’s capital city has fewer than 8,000 people and has technically been annexed by Occupy Wall Street according to the US Constitution. To celebrate the event a commemorative artisan apple jelly has been made available for a limited time.

Zack “Geist Editor” Parsons

 

Thanks a lot SA. 🙂 Ya this was from Something Awful, they generally have fun news more so than most other sites.

 

This made me laugh really hard…

Danny Choo, not related to Pika Choo, who is head of the blog/site/whatever you call it, said he had a Weibo account, my first reaction was…Weibo? You mean Weeaboo?

anyway check it out for yourself.

 

https://plus.google.com/114133040010713743095/posts/MZYoLpfF1GF

 

Anyway, that’s all for today, I’ll be seein’ ya soon.