Ready for another stressful week? I sure as hell am, and look Halloween on Monday night. Even more rage and FFFFF to be had, I hope you guys will enjoy your nights and remember to stay safe and away from alcohol and adult toys. [HeartyLaugh.jpg]

Let’s start with Sunday’s BIGGEST STORY! The Return of Hirano Aya to the stage once more as seiyuu. That’s right, the most scandalous and scary Hirano Returns and Haruhi is once again reborn as a the goddess she once was. Ooooohoooohooo….Spooky!! That was just terrible, I mean plane terrible, those who have seen the drama know just how out of proportion Hirano’s blown herself up. It is in my honest belief that these seiyuus are regarded to be like the Charlie Sheensters of Japan. There’s no other reason for people to get so worked up for over a voice actor or actress. But, hey, far be it for me to troll you “otakus” or should I say “Nerds“. Those living in their own country, especially the US, should not conform to this standard of “kawaii desu” fanboys and fangirls of the modern day and age. Anyway, if I rant anymore I’m going to forget why I’m posting this blog and that’s to show you little kawi boys and girls that the real world out there isn’t a bunch of toys and games and that, quite literally, the world doesn’t care about you so if you want to cut yourself, go ahead. Now, without further ado, let’s get this show on the road.

The Return of Aya Hirano

Author: Artefact

Scandal seiyuu Aya Hirano is apparently set to make a comeback as a seiyuu, having revealed that she has managed to secure no less that 4 new roles – although not everyone is convinced.

Her enthusiastic tweets about her new roles:

“I’m really excited about tomorrow’s recording! I can’t calm down! (゚レ゚)”

“No, it’s a new one! I’ve got 4 new regular roles now!”

Whether she is rising like a glorious phoenix from the ashes of her own burning career or is merely being economical with her definition of what constitutes a “new role” is the subject of much debate online:

“She’s got 4 regular roles! How the lifeliners will rejoice!”

“Amazing! We love you Aya! Well done! I’m really looking forward to these! I’ll be sure to watch all 4 of them!”

“She’s got talent, after all.”

“4 roles – a huge victory for Aya!”

“Are they all anime? 2012 is the year of the Aya!”

“You can also interpret her wording as stating that she has 4 roles in total.”

“Why can’t she tell us which? It looks as if she was told to keep it quiet in case all their fans become enraged…”

“I wonder how much her guarantee is now.”

“After the uproar died down she’s really shining again!”

Just how many of her “new regular roles” actually involve anime characters, let alone major ones, remains to be seen…

Let’s not dawdle, moving on…deranged otaku think 2D loves them. Good job /a/ you can always be counted on when garbage happens in this world.

“The 9 Reasons Men Think Their Sweetheart Likes Them”

Author: Artefact

An article giving the “9 reasons” men end up thinking the girl they have their eye on has the hots for them too has lately been the subject of much soul-searching reflection on the more desolate and lovelorn parts of 2ch.

The original article:

Nothing is quite as pleasing as the moment you realise the person you had your eye on feels the same way about you as you do about them.

We surveyed our male readers about what caused them to think their love was mutual rather than unrequited.

1. She meets your eye a lot

2. She makes a happy face when you meet

3. Your mail exchanges get quite intense

4. She calls you by a special name

5. She asks if there is someone you like

6. People around you point you out as a promising pair

7. She makes efforts to be alone with you

8. She avoids breaking off long conversations, and talks with you as long as possible

9. Her friends scout you out by asking what you think of her

The 2ch version of “mutual love” is rather different in character:

“The third time you meet is mutual love, isn’t it?”

“For people like us, a girl sitting next to you on a bus is liable to be mistaken as being interested in you.”

“I fell for and confessed my love to a girl who met my eye and shook my hand. She told me she had a boyfriend and refused. Die!”

“If girls come and talk to you you really think they have fallen for you, don’t you?”

“She called me by my first name, so I called her with her first name, and she made a ‘haa?’ face. Die, me.”

“When they meet your eyes, you do get the impression they want your kids, don’t you?”

“I made so many mistakes in this area. I’d rather just be a virgin forever now.”

“When I’m alone in the reference room with a girl and they rush to finish their work and hurry out, is it because they feel danger or because they are interested in me?”

“I kept sending a girl mails for 2 weeks but she made virtually no response. I finally got a response!

‘Look, I’m sorry, but could you please stop sending me mails?

Very creepy. Give it a rest, please.’

I was surprised, I didn’t expect this. Who wouldhave thought she’d use a vertically hidden message!”

[In Japanese, the message is two lines and the first character of the first line is ‘su’ and that of the second is ‘ki’]

Next up is our favorite contradiction website known as The Christian Science Monitor, enjoy.

National Grid, others expect power outages for days to come

National Grid and other utility companies are reporting more than 200,000 customers in New York without power after an October snow storm downed power lines in the northeast.

By VERENA DOBNIK

An early taste of winter weather brought down tree limbs all over New York and turned off power for thousands, as wet snow from an unusual October snowstorm meant putting down the rakes and picking up the shovels.

Around the state, more than 200,000 customers were without power, most in the hard-hit Hudson Valley region of the state. Consolidated Edison reported almost 69,000 customers were without power in Westchester County, as were about 4,700 customers in New York City.

Orange and Rockland said it had 84,000 customers out in Rockland, Orange and Sullivan counties. New York State Electric and Gas reported at least 52,000 customers with outages, and National Grid reported at least 9,300 customers out.

“I think wind is the biggest factor. The wind makes the trees wobbly and they tumble onto our lines and transformers and equipment,” said ConEd spokesman Allan Drury. He said it would take several days for full restoration.

In the Hudson Valley, state police evacuated motorists from numerous vehicles stuck on Interstate 84 and the Taconic Parkway overnight and took them to hotels. Police said about 50 to 75 vehicles were towed away so the highways could be plowed, and owners were being reunited with them Sunday afternoon.

The National Weather Service says the storm dropped more than 21 inches of snow in Millbrook in the Hudson Valley. Power was knocked out to more than 110,000 homes and businesses in Dutchess and Ulster counties.

The storm was a taste for what’s to come for the demonstrators camping out at Zuccotti Park in lower Manhattan for the Occupy Wall Street protest.

Nick Lemmin, 25, of Brooklyn, spent his first night camping out at the plaza. He slept in a sleeping bag, and had on extra layers — thermals, a sweatshirt, a scarf.

“I slept actually pretty well,” he said. “It was pretty quiet.”

He said the OWS demonstrators were prepared for the weather, with tents. “Once you’re in a tent, it’s pretty warm,” he said.

Lemmin thought the early snow was actually helpful, that it gave the protesters a chance to see how cold weather would be before it sets in more permanently.

“I think it’s a good test,” he said.

Around Albany, where most tree leaves are still green, cottony snow coated every twig and power line Sunday morning. But by noon, under a clear blue sky, the few inches of snowfall had vanished from all but the shadiest grass. At the Occupy Albany encampment across from the Capitol, about 40 people spent the night in tarp-draped tents.

“There was a team of people sweeping snow off tents overnight,” said Kathy Manley, who was snug and warm overnight in a winter sleeping bag. “It’s getting a little rough with the cold nights, but if people have the proper equipment it’s no problem.”

A couple of dirt- and leaf-caked snowmen stood among the people waving “We are the 99 percent” signs for passing cars. Geordie O’Brien, sitting with Manley at an information table under a canopy, said the protesters plan to remain in place into the winter.

With temperatures in the 30s on Sunday morning, a brilliant sun shone on Central Park, alive with people taking walks and on exercise runs.

They passed thousands of feet of yellow “caution” tape that kept them away from danger — downed tree limbs strewn all over the park, ripped off Saturday in the winds that accompanied a record snowfall on New York City.

The damage didn’t keep Becky McKee, a visitor from Iowa, from enjoying a unique sight — Sheep Meadow aglow in snow white against the Manhattan skyline.

“It’s so pretty!” exclaimed the teacher’s aide from Underwood, Iowa.

“I wasn’t expecting to be wearing hat and gloves here,” she said.

McKeel said she was impressed by how New Yorkers reacted to Saturday’s weather.

“I couldn’t believe it. Nothing stops New Yorkers! This is not what I expected,” she said.

This actually wasn’t the story I wanted to cover, but rather an outage in the south about plantations and such, but you know Google, always updating news before you can paste it. Google News is like if I had a hyper-active younger brother with autism that loves going in circles and on and on about how it’s such a bad ass reporter for the middle east. Oh, well let’s move on.

MREs get a new kick with caffeinated jerky and Zapplesauce

By , Published: October 29

Natick, Mass. — And now, from the folks who developed the atomic bomb, Kevlar underwear and the Humvee, presenting the latest in war-fighting technology:

Caffeinated meat.

That’s right, an Army lab here is testing a beef jerky stick that looks and tastes just like your average Slim Jim but contains an equivalent of a cup of coffee’s worth of caffeine to give even the sleepiest soldier that up-and-at-’em boost.

After a decade of war, military food scientists have been hard at work at a little-known research facility outside Boston transforming the field ration — known as the Meal, Ready to Eat, and perhaps the most complained about food in the world — into something not just good-tasting but full of energy-enhancing ingredients.

“There is a lot of science that goes into this,” said David Accetta, a spokesman for the Natick Soldier Research, Development & Engineering Center, where every item put into an MRE is tested and tasted. “And that’s what a lot of people don’t realize. It’s not just a bunch of cooks in the kitchen making up recipes.”

In addition to caffeine, military technologists are lacing food with supplements such as omega 3s and curcumin, which act as anti-inflammatories. Maltodextrin, a complex carbohydrate that gives service members a little turbo charge, is injected into an amped-up applesauce called Zapplesauce.

And that energizing goo gobbled by marathoners? The Army is developing its very own.

Complaining about the MRE has been a sport within the ranks for years. They’ve been called every derogatory name possible: Meals Rejected by Everyone. Meals Refused by the Enemy. Materials Resembling Edibles. Meals Refusing to Exit.

But in its latest permutations, officials here say, the MRE has gone gourmet — or as gourmet as can be for food that has a shelf life of three years at 80 degrees and can withstand an airdrop from thousands of feet.

The no-name casserole, mystery meat and mealy tuna have been replaced by dishes endorsed by the Natick center’s “sensory evaluators.” Recent chow additions include chicken and pesto pasta, feta cheese and tomato. Dining al fresco in their trenches, soldiers now can choose from ratatouille, garlic mashed potatoes, salsa verde and a strawberry-banana dairy shake.

If you have the time to heat water, there’s instant Irish-cream coffee. If not, caffeinated beef jerky, the military’s variation on the commercially available Perky Jerky, should soon be turning up in MREs.

The technologists’ efforts may be paying off. In reviewing one of the newer entrees, a food writer for the Boston Globe wrote, “The pasta is tender but not falling apart, the sauce dense and sweet, similar to many commercial sauces.”

Besides whipping up new, improved MRE items, Natick also serves as the Army’s equivalent of James Bond’s laboratory.

Here, scientists are developing Global Positioning System-guided helicopters and weaving electrical wires into uniforms and adding keypads to the sleeves. They’re working with Lockheed Martin, the Bethesda-based defense contractor, to build a robotic exoskeleton (think a less dramatic Iron Man) that would allow service members to carry as much as 200 pounds on their backs.

Ya, let’s pump our soldiers witch Caffeine, Taurine, and god knows what else, cause we are men not boys, we intake caffeine cause we like it. I’m sure Rummy will find that the US caffeine jerky is nothing like the French caffeine jerky; I’m sure he and Roy Campbell can figure out their differences at the next International Rations Convention aka I.R.C.

So the other day, I had some coffee with Death (metaphorically speaking of course) and he gave me this great site that fed me comedy and news all in one. Sure, it’s nothing like my blog that gives you everything from anon perspective to things that leave you curious, like Steve Jobs always said ‘stay foolish, stay hungry’. Guy was fired by Apple, a company he made. It took 10 years for him to get back when Apple couldn’t compete with Micro$oft anymore. Anyway, enough anecdotes; here’s the site.

http://fark.com

Great place to hang out, like a coffee shop of horrors for the underworld, except it was all comedy. Downtown hell was a great place back in the day when the smog wasn’t such a huge problem and the souls didn’t run around screaming all the time. Ah, the 90s great times, great times.

Anyway, I got 2 more stories that will probably leave you in stitches; both from Fark.

What the Costumes Reveal

By

Published: October 28, 2011

On Friday, the law firm of Steven J. Baum threw a Halloween party. The firm, which is located near Buffalo, is what is commonly referred to as a “foreclosure mill” firm, meaning it represents banks and mortgage servicers as they attempt to foreclose on homeowners and evict them from their homes. Steven J. Baum is, in fact, the largest such firm in New York; it represents virtually all the giant mortgage lenders, including Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo.

The party is the firm’s big annual bash. Employees wear Halloween costumes to the office, where they party until around noon, and then return to work, still in costume. I can’t tell you how people dressed for this year’s party, but I can tell you about last year’s.

That’s because a former employee of Steven J. Baum recently sent me snapshots of last year’s party. In an e-mail, she said that she wanted me to see them because they showed an appalling lack of compassion toward the homeowners — invariably poor and down on their luck — that the Baum firm had brought foreclosure proceedings against.

When we spoke later, she added that the snapshots are an accurate representation of the firm’s mind-set. “There is this really cavalier attitude,” she said. “It doesn’t matter that people are going to lose their homes.” Nor does the firm try to help people get mortgage modifications; the pressure, always, is to foreclose. I told her I wanted to post the photos on The Times’s Web site so that readers could see them. She agreed, but asked to remain anonymous because she said she fears retaliation.

Let me describe a few of the photos. In one, two Baum employees are dressed like homeless people. One is holding a bottle of liquor. The other has a sign around her neck that reads: “3rd party squatter. I lost my home and I was never served.” My source said that “I was never served” is meant to mock “the typical excuse” of the homeowner trying to evade a foreclosure proceeding.

A second picture shows a coffin with a picture of a woman whose eyes have been cut out. A sign on the coffin reads: “Rest in Peace. Crazy Susie.” The reference is to Susan Chana Lask, a lawyer who had filed a class-action suit against Steven J. Baum — and had posted a YouTube video denouncing the firm’s foreclosure practices. “She was a thorn in their side,” said my source.

A third photograph shows a corner of Baum’s office decorated to look like a row of foreclosed homes. Another shows a sign that reads, “Baum Estates” — needless to say, it’s also full of foreclosed houses. Most of the other pictures show either mock homeless camps or mock foreclosure signs — or both. My source told me that not every Baum department used the party to make fun of the troubled homeowners they made their living suing. But some clearly did. The adjective she’d used when she sent them to me — “appalling” — struck me as exactly right.

These pictures are hardly the first piece of evidence that the Baum firm treats homeowners shabbily — or that it uses dubious legal practices to do so. It is under investigation by the New York attorney general, Eric Schneiderman. It recently agreed to pay $2 million to resolve an investigation by the Department of Justice into whether the firm had “filed misleading pleadings, affidavits, and mortgage assignments in the state and federal courts in New York.” (In the press release announcing the settlement, Baum acknowledged only that “it occasionally made inadvertent errors.”)

MFY Legal Services, which defends homeowners, and Harwood Feffer, a large class-action firm, have filed a class-action suit claiming that Steven J. Baum has consistently failed to file certain papers that are necessary to allow for a state-mandated settlement conference that can lead to a modification. Judge Arthur Schack of the State Supreme Court in Brooklyn once described Baum’s foreclosure filings as “operating in a parallel mortgage universe, unrelated to the real universe.” (My source told me that one Baum employee dressed up as Judge Schack at a previous Halloween party.)

I saw the firm operate up close when I wrote several columns about Lilla Roberts, a 73-year-old homeowner who had spent three years in foreclosure hell. Although she had a steady income and was a good candidate for a modification, the Baum firm treated her mercilessly.

When I called a press spokesman for Steven J. Baum to ask about the photographs, he sent me a statement a few hours later. “It has been suggested that some employees dress in … attire that mocks or attempts to belittle the plight of those who have lost their homes,” the statement read. “Nothing could be further from the truth.” It described this column as “another attempt by The New York Times to attack our firm and our work.”

I encourage you to look at the photographs with this column on the Web. Then judge for yourself the veracity of Steven J. Baum’s denial.

Them trolls, man even in life, wow, just wow.

Our last story for tonight is an interesting one.

The Onion’s fake story no laughing matter for Santa Rosa institute

By KERRY BENEFIELD

The equivalent of a media practical joke seemed funny at first to the head of a Santa Rosa parenting institute.

But it quickly turned into a nightmare.

The Onion, a 23-year-old satirical online and print publication, wrote a tongue-in-cheek story that all styles of parenting cause children to grow up into “profoundly unhappy adults,” based on a study credited to the California Parenting Institute of Santa Rosa.

The reported research — which caused tremors in parenting circles nationwide — found that even varying parenting styles lead to bitterness, isolation or adults “unprepared to contend with life’s difficulties.”

Except the institute never conducted any such study.

Robin Bowen, executive director of CPI, is familiar with The Onion and even laughed when she was first alerted to the faux-story by her daughter Thursday morning.

“Her friend in Portland had emailed her with the link,” Bowen said. “She came in and woke me up and said, ‘Mom, you are never going to believe this.’”

It was when she got to work later that morning that the enormity of the impact became clear.

The story brought a deluge of calls to the Standish Avenue offices of the 33-year-old non-profit advocacy group.

“We even had parent educators who work here say, ‘When did we do a study?’” said Wendy Hilberman, director of marketing and development for CPI.

The Onion, which describes itself on its website as “an omnipotent news empire,” ran the story Wednesday near stories headlined, “Nation Finally Just Breaks Down and Begs Its Smart People to Fix Everything,” and “John Madden Agrees to Work as a Consultant for Raiders Concession Stand.”

Nonetheless, CPI officials said they were inundated with phone calls and emails from people concerned that parenting really does not matter.

“For instance, we had a lady, she basically called and said she was writing a book or something and she really wanted a copy of the research and it supported some of her thoughts,” Hilberman said.

“It’s obviously not OK to list our agency, even in satire,” she said.

The institute offers parenting instruction, coordinates a local child abuse council and provides children’s counseling services, among other programs.

In a press release issued Friday, CPI touted its good works while dismissing any connection with The Onion story.

“The falsified study quoted in The Onion states that all parenting styles lead to the same outcome — unhappy, miserable adults,” the release reads. “We have been around a long time because we know that parent education does work.”

Officials at The Onion, which has offices in Chicago and New York, acknowledged that some of their stories have caused confusion in the past. Separate web sites have been set up paying homage to some of The Onion’s top headlines and how readers have been duped.

“Generally people recognize The Onion and are familiar with what we do. However, there are certainly cases of confusion for those that have never heard of us,” said The Onion spokeswoman Anne Finn.

Social media and lightning quick communication can deliver news, but Bowen said it’s not always clear from where the information is coming.

“I’m totally aware that it’s satire,” she said. “But it’s spreading through the internet and people’s blogs and where it’s coming from is getting left off and it’s looking like a news story.”

Consumers of information need to be savvy, said Jonah Raskin, Sonoma State University professor of communication studies and media law.

“If you go online, you will find all kinds of things that are false and misleading about products and individuals,” Raskin said. “If anyone takes The Onion seriously, they are sadly misunderstanding The Onion.”

Bowen said the group’s hand was forced by the public’s reaction to the story.

“I kind of feel like we needed to be preventive,” she said. “I think that things with the Internet are so easily accessible, it’s like the old game of telephone that we would play when we were kids.”

That’s our show for today everybody, see you Monday night.