Good evening I am your host, Vol

Let’s not get ourselves sued here, just yet; But Trolls News is funny. I am here to bring you some good news and bad news. The good news is trolls win over moralfags again. The bad news is, trolls win. Here let me explain…

Facebook Shuts Down ‘Most Beautiful Teen’ Page

A Facebook page that solicited sexy pictures from teenagers hoping to be named the “The Most Beautiful Teen in the World” has been taken down after it sparked outrage from concerned parents and security experts.

The page violated Facebook’s statement of rights and responsibilities, Facebook said in a statement Wednesday. “We do not tolerate bullying and take action on content reported to us which we categorize as such,” the statement read.

Teens began flooding uploaded pictures of themselves on the “Competition for the Most Beautiful Teenager” page as soon as it was created by an unidentified Facebook.

The often-provocative photos, many showing boys with their shirts off and girls in bikinis, posing in their bedrooms and bathrooms at home, were then judged by other Facebook users in comments for all to see.

“I would not touch with a ten-foot pole,” one comment read.

“Her nose is too big,” another read.

The harsh language and the concept of such a competition were too much for Marcy Kemp-Rank, whose 15-year-old daughter, Amy, introduced her to the site after submitting her own photos to be judged.

“She read them [the comments] to me, several of them, and I couldn’t handle hearing them because it just made me very upset and angry,” Kemp-Rank told ABC News.  “I think  that was a good thing they took it down.  I think it was a way of bullying.”

The “Competition for the Most Beautiful Teenager” page, and the many like it still available to teens on other websites, also raised red flags, security experts say, about online predators.

The page shut down by Facebook was open to anyone, meaning it did not require users to “friend” the publisher, or “like” the page in order to log on and see the thousands of pictures of young boys and girls.

“It is an absolute pool for people that like this sort of thing for the absolute wrong reason,” John Abell, New York bureau chief for, told ABC News.

Half these idiots were fat-assed Americans who look like they went to too many Mickey D’s and they want to be called “beautiful”. There’s nothing beautiful about a fat chick, alright?

Now let me get over to the camera to tell you what I’m talking about.

Yup, it’s that time again. Let me tell you something folks, being fat doesn’t mean you’re pretty. Looking like a whale means you’ve spent too many hours in McDonald’s and if you’re stupid enough to not acknowledge that a fat blubbering body that looks like a whale is quote-unquote beautiful, boy are you STUPID!

“BUT WAIT!” says the other me using some sort of passive means to debate me.

“Girls are beautiful on the inside.”

You are a human being, thus you have ORGANS, I don’t think anyone wants to see what you look like on the inside unless you have an organ problem. And even then it’s just doctors. And no sane person would look “on the inside for a girl anyway”. Case in point Shallow Hal“. Don’t make me get out my movie quotes on you boy.

“But isn’t personality what you want to look for in a mate?”

Personality? Please, women have no personality. Okay I take that back, or the Feds are gonna sue me. My point is this: men are shallow creatures, who only look on the outside instead of on the inside for love. If you’re looking for personality, you’re doing it wrong.

“But shouldn’t a man consider a woman’s feelings?”

Chivalry is dead, son. Deal with it.

In conclusion…

That’s right, the bare-bones truth is that women have no respect for themselves yet claim to be higher than men. In the words of 4chan.

>Intentional logical fallacies

Women make no goddamn sense in choose guys and guys allow them to lower theirown standards to match of the women’s standards. Good job, society, you just made living a whole lot shittier by lowering your expectations of other human beings.

I want to thank YattaroSB~ with providing such nice art for me to hijack, I mean, “borrow” for my non-pokemon argument purposes. Where Yattaro talks about how bad the fandom for pokemon is, I talk about the fandom for “society”. If you can even call that a fandom.

And now for some ponies and news.

Friendship is Magic from the Japanese Perspective

Thank you based Japan for helping out with the pony fandom. We love you all so much, thank you.

This was actually in the roundup where a good majority of analysis style articles go, but I figured I’d split it off. It is pretty enlightening to see how exactly Friendship is Magic is forseen in Japanese culture.

Fluttershy for example is apparently battling the top three positions with Cheerilee and Big Mac as best ponies. I don’t think those two have ever come close to any of the mane cast in the USA/Western polls.

Anyway, go read it here, because its awesome.

Post brought to you by EqD.

And now let’s read about Sexual Harassment!

Lolicon Teacher “Orally Reprimanded” for Groping Girls

Author: Artefact

A teacher found to be habitually groping and spying on his elementary school girl pupils has been told not to do it again, sparking much outrage online.

According to the local board of education, the unidentified Nagasaki elementary school teacher, in his forties, was responsible for a 6th year class.

Over a 7-month period he is said to have repeatedly sexually harassed his female pupils, often fondling their breasts whilst patting them on the shoulder and slipping into their changing room during physical education classes.

On one occasion during a field trip he also popped into the room a girl was getting dressed in, without knocking.

The local board of education has seen fit to discipline him by offering an “oral reprimand.”

Online there is a certain amount of outrage (not to mention envy) at the amazing liberties Japanese teachers are blessed with:

“How can this end only with a oral rebuke? They should arrest the board for abetting child molestation!”

“Come on, they didn’t even release his name and only warned him? This is pure chikan stuff.”

“He’s a sex criminal. Lolicon teachers are protected too much, really.”

“Those teachers have total free reign alright.”

“There is no way he’s going to stop this stuff when he gets away with it with only being told not to do it again.”

“The report even states he did it ‘repeatedly,’ so it’s habitual. He’s just going to keep victimising his pupils. Arrest him, useless police!”

“I cannot believe the parents are happy about this.”

“How many years has he been doing this, I wonder?”

“Civil servants really are invulnerable. This is why people support Hashimoto.”

“Surely this is attempted rape or something? They are too young to legally consent to anything.”

“Asahi reported Nagasaki prefecture was actually distributing leaflets and posters to schools last year asking teachers not to sexually harass their pupils…”

“Do it on the street, you’re named and shamed throughout Japan, and arrested. Do it in school, you’re named and shamed in your school.”

“Teachers = lolicon.”

Hey can we help it that you girls are so goddamn adorable that we want to grope you? I think not. I don’t intend on groping anyone in the work place. God forbid someone calls the cops on me for “sexually harassing them”. 🙄

Anyway, let’s move on…

This next story is truly LULZ WORTHY!

Pokémon Champion Loses Title for Hotel Feces Flinging

Author: Artefact

The reputation of creepy Pokémon otaku just became a little creepier with the news that one of their number has been stripped of his championship title for spreading his own excrement about his hotel.

The recent United Kingdom’s Video Game Championship saw Pokémon players from around the EU compete, but on the evening prior to the “Masters Division” attendees were disgusted to discover one of them had left his droppings in a corridor at the hotel in which many of the players were staying.

Police were called and the offending player was thrown out of the hotel and subsequently fined.

In response to the incident two-time winner (now one-time winner) Ruben Lecegui was stripped of the title, which was given to a runner-up.

The event’s Pokémon manager is understandably distressed at one of his players besmirching the event’s kiddy-friendly reputation:

The Pokémon Company International expects its players to maintain high standards of behaviour conducive to the family-friendly environment that we foster.

The Pokémon Company International conducts full investigations into any matters where we believe that a player has failed to maintain these standards, and take appropriate action when necessary.

In this case, we have found that unacceptable behaviour did take place, and have taken the appropriate steps in response.

He apparently also faces a possible life-time ban, as well as the infinitely worse punishment of having his name immortalised online as a “Pokémon Poo Flinger” or similar.

Amongst Pokémon players online there is a surprising amount of sympathy for his coprophiliac ways, in so far as it is surprising that anyone at all would be sympathetic:

“That was disgustingly hilarious, that poo story made my day!”

“That dude should be ashamed, he disgraced all trainers. And this guy is supposed to be a champion?”

“On the subject of poo, I think it is a disgrace, yet I am surprised that Play! Pokémon stripped him of his title.”

“About the poo thing, I have been following the topic all the week and it is kind of a double-sided decision. Apparently, they “only” put a poo wrapped in toilet paper in front of their door. Really childish and dumb, I know.”

“I’m guessing they had also been drinking or… something? Seems like such an absurd thing to do.”

“As immature as Ruben’s prank might have seemed, it doesn’t warrent any stripping of titles in my eyes. It’s just an excuse to give the championship to a UK player instead, due to the dislike of foreign nationals being able to compete.”

“In regards to the incident with the UK VGC… I was the guy who discovered the scene. The gaming media has stretched it somewhat – there was one (maybe two) pieces of poo, partially wrapped in toilet roll, in the hotel hallway.


I think his punishment fits the crime. I have heard rumours though that he’s also received an indefinite Play! Pokémon ban; which if true, even I would have to say is pretty heavy handed.”

“Man, that poo stunt was extremely immature, even I wouldn’t do that. Shame on him, for disgracing his country, his people, and even more important, Pokémon players. I do agree he should have been punished more for his actions other than a title-strip and a fee.”

“I mean, how can you be stupid enough to plop your sh*t around a hotel hallway? I’ve had my fair share of stupid moments, but nothing even close to vandalism of this calibre. At the same time, being stripped of your title seems a little too much, as it takes many days of work to perfect your team, and to win a National championship is pretty big.”

“I think this is definitely appropriate, and a great lesson to every player out there. To hold the status of a champion should be one of dignity and respect, and is obviously not belonging to one who will even put poop in a hotel hallway.”

Japan loves this shit, fucking hilarious.

Yesterday was JJ‘s birthday; I paid my respects for him on his DA. This guy is one of the most highly rated Pony artists out there. JJ’s a pretty cool guy, I wish more people knew about it him. Well whatever, the community has room to grow.

Teacher had sex with teens, police say

Works in special education in Lexington

AUSTIN (KXAN) — A special education teacher in the Lexington school district is charged with aggravated sexual assault after being accused of having sexual relations with two teenage boys.

According to an arrested affidavit handed down from the Travis County district courts, 32-year-old Holly Lopez was involved in sexual relationships with a 13-year-old boy and a 14-year-old boy.

One of the boys contacted police, saying he “began feeling weird about the situation,” the affidavit said. The case is being investigated in Travis County because the teachers and the boys had relations in one of the Pflugerville home of one of the boys.

The Associated Press reported that a Lopez is listed as a special education teacher at Lexington Middle School in Lexington, which is about 50 miles east of Austin in Lee County.

Oh lawl, you silly people in Texas…

Police need help finding 16-year-old girl


FULLERTON Police are asking for the public’s help in finding a 16-year-old girl who ran away from her sister early Wednesday morning, they said.

Kayla Lyons, who is without medication needed for “physiological and medical issues,” ran away from her sister at 1:25 a.m. near Gilbert Street and Orangethorpe Avenue, the Fullerton Police Department said in a release.“I don’t’ know any more about her medical or physiological issues,” Cpl. Tim Kandler said in an interview. “She is more of a danger to herself at this point, considering she needs medication.”

Lyons, from Michigan, was in Fullerton visiting her sister, Kandler said.

Police are also not certain why the girl ran away: “That is part of the investigation,” Kandler said.

Lyons is white, 5 feet tall, weighs 95 pounds and has blonde hair; she was wearing a dark-blue v-neck shirt, blue jeans and black sandals.

Anyone with information is asked to call Detective Kathryn Hamel at 714-738-5327, or the front desk at 714-738-6716.

Time to find another missing girl on the streets.

‘World’s Ugliest Dog’ dies in California

A 1.8-POUND (0.82 kilogram) mutt who won the “World’s Ugliest Dog” title last year died in her sleep Saturday.

Yoda, a 15-year-old Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix, won $US1000 after beating 29 other canine contestants at the competition in Petaluma, California, last year.

In pictures: World’s ugliest dog contest

Owner Terry Devine Schumacher, whose daughter found the dog in a field when she was two, said she would miss Yoda’s “funny little ways.”

She told the Hanford Sentinel she was “comforted knowing she will be joining my mom and dad, who loved her so much. Her memories will live on forever.”

Yoda achieved minor celebrity status for her looks — a protruding tongue, short tufts of hair and skinny, bald legs — and appeared on several television programs after her win.

She was found in a field behind an apartment building, and Schumacher initially told her daughter to drop the animal because she thought it was a rat.

Vicki DeArmon, the producer of the contest, said Yoda will keep the title until a new ugliest dog is crowned in June.

Alas, Yoda, we heardly knew ye. Welp, that’s our show for today folks, I’ll see you all next, week. And apologies for the lack of posts this week, I just had nothing worth posting. I hope you all understand, and I’ll see you next week.