Alright homofags, ponyfags, and whoever else reads this. Today’s filler is brought to you by bullshit gas prices, from the creators of “Fuck my Government” comes a brand news series “Low gas in June!”

 

I can’t believe I’m saying this too but WSJ clearly says we’re getting lower gas prices this summer, just in time for summer break. OR IS IT!! I don’t know about you people but my doubts are plenty and I don’t like it.

 

Gas Prices Fall Just in Time for Summer

By Liam Pleven

 

You wouldn’t usually confuse the U.S. Energy Information Administration with the Beach Boys, but the government says conditions are improving for drivers hoping for an endless summer.

The EIA slashed its forecast Tuesday for average gasoline prices during the summer driving period, which runs from April to September. Instead of the $3.95-per-gallon estimate it put out in April, the EIA now expects prices to average just $3.79 during the period.

As it happens, the new forecast is exactly the same price the EIA said motorists were paying on Monday. That report marked the fifth consecutive decline in the week-by-week report about retail gasoline prices, and it has eased fears that prices nationwide will push above the $4 average mark soon, as some had expected just a few months ago.

The EIA said it cut the summer forecast because crude oil prices have fallen over the past month, and they’re declining again today, with prices for the benchmark U.S. contract down 1.9% in recent trading, and Brent crude.

Gasoline futures are also falling again today, down 0.9% in recent trading, and that would mark the seventh straight down day of trading if it holds. Given that futures are a guide to wholesale prices, the recent trend points to further declines at the pump in weeks ahead.

That said, the EIA says there are risks of a spike ahead. Even as it cut the summer gasoline-price estimate, the administration said the market value of futures and options contracts indicate a 22% chance that by the time the September futures contract comes due, it will hit a level “consistent with” retail gasoline costing more than $4 on average in September.

 

So there you have it, we’re all fucked for the next couple of months after summer, enjoy this reprieve while you can.

 

This is Grass signing out.